Why Mediate?
Reasons to consider mediation:
Taking another party to court is expensive, time consuming and stressful. It’s public. And there’s no guarantee that you will prevail on court. Consider mediation before you go the litigation route. A mediator is a neutral third party who assists parties who are having a dispute. The goal of mediation is to find common ground, a solution that both parties can live with.
- Mediation is faster and cheaper than going to court. Mediation can typically be completed in a few hours, while court cases can drag on for years. Mediation is also significantly less expensive than going to court.
- Mediation maintains Confidentiality. Court proceedings are public record, so anyone can access the information. Mediation proceedings, on the other hand, are confidential.
- Mediation allows the parties to have control of the process: In mediation, the parties have more control over the process than they do in court. They can choose the mediator, the location, and the time of the mediation.
- Mediation is more likely to result in a mutually agreeable resolution. In court, a judge makes the decision for you. In mediation, the parties work together to reach an agreement that is mutually satisfactory.
- Mediation can help to preserve relationships. Mediation can help the parties communicate more effectively and resolve their differences in a constructive way. This can help to preserve relationships and avoid further conflict.
- There is no guaranteed outcome if you go to court. There is no guarantee that if you go to court, that the court will rule in your favor.
Specific situations where mediation may be a good option:
- Couples: Couples mediation can help couples to resolve the issues that they are having trouble resolving on their own. Couples mediation is NOT the same as couples therapy or counseling.
- Divorce: Divorce mediation can help couples to resolve the issues related to their divorce, such as child custody, child support, and division of property.
- Elder Care Mediation: Elder Care Mediation can help families who are having trouble deciding on a plan to take care of an elder loved one. Should a family member move in with them? Should they move in with a family member? Should they move into a nursing home or assisted living center? How will their care be paid for? Is it time to sell their home and assets? These are gut-wrenching decisions that often tear families apart. A skilled mediator can help to keep things calm as during the mediation.
- Business disputes: Mediation can help businesses to resolve their disputes without going to court.
- Neighborhood disputes: Mediation can help neighbors to resolve their disputes, such as noise complaints or property line disputes.
- Workplace disputes: Mediation can help employees and employers to resolve their disputes, such as discrimination or harassment claims.
Back To Garland Smith, Mediator
Why Mediation Works
Why is it that mediation works when parties are unable to resolve their dispute by themselves?
Mediation works because it provides a safe and supportive environment where parties can communicate openly and honestly to explore their options and work together to develop mutually agreeable solutions.
When parties are in dispute, they are often feeling angry, hurt, and defensive. This can make it difficult for them to communicate effectively and to listen to each other. In mediation, the mediator creates a space where the parties can feel safe and comfortable sharing their perspectives and exploring their options. The mediator also helps the parties to listen to each other and to understand each other’s perspectives.
This open and honest communication is essential for resolving disputes. When the parties can communicate effectively, they can better understand each other’s interests and needs, which allows them to work together to develop creative solutions that meet those interests and needs.
Another benefit of mediation is that it empowers the parties to control the process and to make their own decisions. The mediator does not impose a solution on the parties. Instead, the mediator helps the parties to identify their options and to make decisions that are right for them. This sense of empowerment is important for resolving disputes. When the parties feel like they have control over the process and that they are making their own decisions, they are more likely to be satisfied with the outcome.
To recap, mediation works because it provides a safe and supportive environment for communication, empowers the parties to control the process and to make their own decisions, and helps the parties to identify and develop creative solutions to their conflict.
Back To Garland Smith, Mediator
What changes would you like to make for the New Year?
Now that the holidays are winding down, and we begin to look ahead to the new year, this is a good time to reflect on the year that’s past and the things we would like to focus on going forward to have a productive, successful year.
It is generally thought that past behaviors predict the future. However, this is only true to the extent that we allow it to be so. We can’t change what’s happened in the past. However, we can change the way we approach life going forward. This requires changing the way we think, act and react. The key to making change is to reflect and to make a conscious choice to change the things that are not having a positive impact on our lives
The following simple questions provide a good starting point:
What do you want to change?
What do you want to let go of?
What do you want to get rid of and avoid?
What do you want to keep and enhance?
You have it within yourself to make changes that will improve your life. All it takes is knowing what you’d like to change, establishing manageable goals, an action plan to achieve your goals, and the resolve and discipline to implement your plan.
I won’t sugar-coat it. Change is hard. That’s why people keep engaging in the same self-defeating behaviors and that’s why folks who are making progress with change slip back into behaviors from the past, getting back to their “comfort zone”. Unfortunately, what’s comfortable is not always productive or healthy. Never-the-less, if you make a concerted effort to make positive changes and work to achieve your goals, you can overcome the pull toward unhealthy, unproductive behaviors you’d like to move away from and you will be the better for it.
- Why Mediate? - October 6, 2023
- Why Mediation Works - October 3, 2023
Welcome to Garland Smith’s Coaching Blog
My name is Garland Smith. I live in Rosenberg, TX on the Southwest side of Houston, Texas. I am married and have seven children, one of which is still at home. I have a bachelors degree in Mathematics from University of Southern Mississippi. I am a Coach-In-Training working on Life Coach certification specializing in wellness and weight loss.
My empathic nature combined with a heart-felt desire to help people is what has drawn me to coaching. As a coach, my focus is to help people develop a plan to reach their goals, dreams and desires. The coaching process clears away the mental clutter and helps you make changes that allow you to approach life with a fresh perspective, a revitalized sense of direction, and a renewed enthusiasm. I will help you move from where you are today to where you want to be.
Do you have a goal, dream or desire you’d like to work on? I’d love to give you forty-five minutes to find out what coaching is all about and how it might have value in your life. Are you ready, willing, and able? It won’t cost you a thing. Contact me to set up a complimentary coaching session.
- Why Mediate? - October 6, 2023
- Why Mediation Works - October 3, 2023
Believe…
The most important thing when undertaking a new challenge is to believe you can do it. If you do not believe you can do it, who will? If you do not believe you can do it, you’re probably right. Lack of belief is self-defeating and it’s a drag. Who would put any significant time and energy into something they believe is pointless, fruitless, and unattainable? Believe first. Then do.
- Why Mediate? - October 6, 2023
- Why Mediation Works - October 3, 2023
Putting Body Mass Index (BMI) in terms that are easy to understand…
In order to put Body Mass Index (BMI) into terms that are easier to understand, I’m going to use my BMI numbers. I’m 5′ 10″ and I weigh 230 pounds. That means I have a BMI of 33. According to my BMI score, I am obese. I need to drop my BMI to under 30 to go from being obese to being overweight and under 25 to be in the range that would be considered to be in the healthy range. For me to get my head wrapped around this, I need to think in terms of weight, which is something that I can more easily relate to. Using the BMI calculator, I determined that for my height, each BMI point equates to 7 pounds. That means I need to lose around 21 pounds to go from being obese to overweight and another 35 pounds to get to the top of my healthy weight range. So I need to lose a total of 56 pounds to be at the top of my healthy weight range based on BMI, which would put me at 174 pounds. Wow! I can’t remember the last time I hit the scales at 174 pounds. BMI is nebulous. Thinking in terms of weight rather than BMI helps me put things in perspective. Thinking about my actual weight measured against a healthy target weight is something I can relate to. I had a heart attack in September of 2013. In retrospect, I should have started thinking about making changes at that time. One thing I’m learning in my coach training is that change is hard and people tend to remain entrenched in their own comfort zone. The good news is that it’s never too late to start working on health. You can’t change your wellness history, but you can make positive changes that contribute to your wellness story going forward.
- Why Mediate? - October 6, 2023
- Why Mediation Works - October 3, 2023
What do the terms overweight and obese really mean?
This may sound like a silly question. However, if you do a Google search for overweight, you’ll see that there are a lot of pages that define the terms “overweight” and “obese” in terms of Body Mass Index (BMI). In simple terms, BMI is a weight-to-height ratio. For adults, if your BMI is between 25 or more, you’re considered to be overweight. And you’re considered to be obese if your BMI is 30 or more.
The problem with defining your ideal weight in terms of BMI is that it takes the discussion out of what is tangible and easy to grasp and puts it in terms that most people can’t relate to. I believe most adults think they have a good feel for their “healthy” weight and whether they’re at an ideal weight, just a bit overweight, or are borderline obese or beyond. If you don’t know your BMI, why not take this opportunity to look it up. You can find a BMI calculator at the following link: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm
Looking up your BMI is easy. The question is: Will it be painless? If you get a shock, maybe it will serve as a wakeup call.
If you’re good with math, you can use the following formula to calculate your BMI:
- Multiply your weight in pounds by 703.
- Take your height in inches and square it (multiply it times itself).
- Divide #1 by #2.
I can’t imagine that anyone would want to perform this calculation themselves. However, this does illustrate how nebulous BMI really is.
- Why Mediate? - October 6, 2023
- Why Mediation Works - October 3, 2023
Do You Want to Be Taken Seriously?
Success in your life and your career has a lot to do with how you are perceived by others. People want to deal with people whom they find to be serious and credible.
Steps you can take to get others to take you seriously:
- Act serious. If you want people to take you seriously, you need to act seriously. Don’t act like a fool.
- Speak clearly and thoughtfully. Speak up. Speak coherently and make sure what you’re saying makes sense. Don’t mumble. Use proper grammar and sentence structure. Get to the point and say what you need to say.
- Think before you speak. You don’t have to say everything you think. Some thoughts are not worth expressing.
- Make persuasive arguments that are well thought out. This will allow others to see that you are someone that they should listen to and take note of.
- Eliminate filler words. Work on eliminating the ‘uh’s’, ‘ahs’, ‘ums’ and other filler words such as ‘you know’, ‘like’, ‘really’ and ‘honestly’ that interrupt the flow of ideas.
- Make sure you’ve got your facts straight. You may need to substantiate what you’re saying. Be prepared to provide a reference.
- Look the other person in the eye. When having a face-to-face conversation, look the other person in the eye. This shows that you are serious and engaged in the conversation.
- Be sincere and demonstrate conviction. People sense when you’re being disingenuous or dishonest or not totally forthcoming.
- When shaking hands, use a good firm handshake. This is more for men than women but to some extent it’s true for women as well. Firm does not mean bone crushing. It means don’t hold out a limp noodle.
- If you’re asked a question and don’t know the answer, say so. No one is expected to know everything. Don’t just make something up. When you get a moment, look it up. That way, the next time you’re asked the question, you’ll know the answer.
- Develop creditability. Being consistently shown to be right allows others to see that you are credible and that they can believe what you’re saying.
- Don’t be a jokester. Don’t make a joke out of everything. If you’re always joking, how can you expect to be taken seriously?
- Don’t overuse hyperbole. When used sparingly, use of hyperbole and exaggeration are useful for dramatic effect. However, as with any tool, overuse diminishes the effectiveness and ultimately serves to undermine your message.
- Pay attention to your appearance. Dress for success. Shower. Keep your hair and clothes presentable. Brush your teeth. When you don’t take care of your appearance, you look sloppy and disinterested – looking like a slacker. For boys and men, keep your pants up around your waist – nobody wants to see your under-britches or, worse yet, your butt crack.
- Develop a good reputation. Avoid things that make others think less of you such as public drinking, drugs, crime, and other poor decisions that reflect poorly on your character.
- Be truthful. If you have a reputation of someone who is truthful, people will generally believe you and therefore believe in you. If you’re known to lie, how can you expect others to believe you?
- Keep your word. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Do what you promise. Don’t make promises you can’t or don’t intend to keep.
- In an argument, stay calm and speak in an even tone. Don’t get all worked up. This will allow folks to see that you are level headed. If people find out that you can be rattled, they will try to rattle you. Don’t let your detractors get your goat..
- Make sure you can back up your arguments with facts, not just your opinions. Make sure you know the difference.
- Be assertive, confident, and decisive. When you talk to someone, say their name, look them in the eye, and let them know that you’re talking to them. When you decide to say something, say it. Don’t waffle. When you make a decision stick with it unless information comes to your attention that gives you a reason to change your thinking.
- Take responsibility for what you do or say. If you make a mistake or do or say something wrong, own up to it.
- Know what’s going on in the world. Read and study so you can carry on an intelligent conversation.
- Pay attention to your body language. Keep your posture open and upright. Don’t slump or slink around.
- Make a good first impression. First impressions are important. People make their initial assessment based on how you present yourself. Square your shoulders. Make your handshake matter: Make eye contact and use a firm grip. Smile.
- Be confident yet humble. Confidence is important but it’s also important to acknowledge that there is much that you don’t know.
- Why Mediate? - October 6, 2023
- Why Mediation Works - October 3, 2023